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This is the official website of the Ottawa University Literary Journal.

Author Biography Rashelle Brown

Hello readers! My name is Rashelle Brown. Due to my dad having served in the military, I was born in Heidelberg, Germany, where he was stationed at the time. I have lived in many places and call home wherever my family is. I am currently a senior at Ottawa University studying Music Education. My primary instrument is flute, and my secondary instrument is saxophone. I can play a little piano, and I also can sing in choir. I would like to continue my education by getting a Masters in counseling psychology, getting a P.h.D, and one day opening my own counseling practice. Here at the university, I work as a senior student ambassador in the admissions office. I have been an orientation leader every year but my own freshman year, and I am currently in Theta Phi Alpha, the sorority here on campus.

Love and Infatuation By Rashelle Brown

Love and Infatuation

This is the tale of a woman named Love and a man named Infatuation. Love and Infatuation are immortal lovers. They have been around since the beginning of time. These two are often confused for each other, however Love stays longer and is more true than Infatuation. 

Love and Infatuation met on the most beautiful spring day of the year. Everything was blooming around them. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing. It was a perfect day! The moment they laid eyes on each other they were in love. One could almost call it love at first sight. They had such a brilliant spark right away, and for this reason, Infatuation decided to court Love. They were so happy and excited. The dates they went on went very well, and they were a couple in love.

A couple weeks went by with this feeling of excitement. Then, Infatuation became jealous of Love’s male friends. He didn’t like them, and he wanted them to know she was his. Love, being infinitely positive, reassured him that she didn’t have feelings for any one of them. He was her only love, and life went on.

Suddenly, after all the happy weeks they were together, things went on a downward spiral. Infatuation was being incredibly selfish. He expected their relationship to be perfect. He wasn’t thinking about what Love thought about all of this. He just argued with her without actually listening to her. Despite all of his negativity, Love was selfless. She continued to give her all to their relationship. She saw the good in him. She also saw all the bad in him, but she loved him anyway. Love was always confident that they would make it through the tough times, and because of her confidence and her love for Infatuation she was willing to compromise on things. Infatuation, however, did not believe they could make it through the tough times together this time. He was no longer willing to compromise. It seemed he no longer loved Love. The spark he felt in the beginning was gone, and he was no longer happy when he was with her. She always failed to live up to his expectations. To him, their relationship had gone from a burst of color to black and white.

One day, Infatuation saw a woman of stunning beauty. He was enraptured by her outside appearance. Her name was Lust. All at once, the spark he was missing was back. Feeling elated, he began to court this other woman behind Love’s back. He decided to deceive her. Even though he didn’t love her anymore, he didn’t want to hurt her. 

It was shortly after Infatuation started to court Lust that Love began to suspect something was off. She constantly tried to tell herself that everything was fine. They were going to be okay again. She still gave everything to the relationship that was now one sided. She truly loved him, and she just wanted them to be happy again.

Finally, the day came where Infatuation would no longer hide his deception. He came out to Love about how he no longer cared for her and that he was seeing someone else. She was heartbroken. He had lied right up until the end, and she didn’t have the will to fight for him anymore. Heart torn in two, Love left Infatuation. 

Despite Love always being able to look on the bright side, Love had dimmed because of Infatuation. So, Love took a break from lovers. She took time to heal and love herself again. For love isn’t just for other people, it is also for yourself. After she found self-love again, she was able to start showing love for others like friends, family, and people in general. Eventually, she was able to show romantic love once again.

Months later, Love was in a better place. She was happy again by herself. She even admitted to herself that she still loved Infatuation even after what he did to her. She would always love him, but her life would go on like normal. In the end, Love found the right man. Infatuation never settled down. He always lost the spark of “love” with every woman he courted.

In the early stages of a relationship, love and infatuation feel the same. However, as time goes on, infatuation shows it’s face as an intense but short-lived passion, while love shows it’s true colors as a timeless feeling of deep, true affection. Genuine love involves not only passion, but also commitment and wisdom. It’s not always easy to know which one of these a person is feeling. It is easy to believe and hope it is love. Love is a gift, and it is one that anyone deserves to behold.   


Author Biography Perry Shepard

Hello, My name is Perry L. Shepard. I have written two novels titled The Hero versus Me and Monkey Jo and Hard Love.  The Hero Versus Me and Monkey Jo was published in 2019 through Anamcara Press LLC.  Hard Love is scheduled to be published in spring 2020. I have a third novel simmering at this writing.  I have a book of poetry ready for publishing titled A Rhythmic Electric Circus of Sound Part 66; A.R.E.C.O.S Part 66.  I have won a national poetry contest second place award for one of my poems and published in The Best Amateur Poets in 2014.  In Writer’s Digest 84th poetry competition I won an honorable mention. In 2019 I won two honorable mentions in the Kansas Author’s Club State Wide writing contest for a short story and a play.  I have been published in a variety of fanzines and college publications.  I am a visual artist as well as writer and consistently have exhibited my work for the past three years.

It’s Like This By Perry Shepard

It’s Like This

It was a cold night out on the freeway with a blustery Kansas wind coming down on Chase Million.  He had his thumb out for the past three hours and he reflected on the past two years rambling across the land.  He left the Army without any place he belonged to, where could land and stay.  He spent the first year chasing the nightmares away with alcohol.  Homeless with no place to call home he kept roaming the country.  He finally gave up the booze as it only gave him stomach aches and fights with other losers.  He was a big man with wild hair and ragged clothes.

He was so angry he couldn’t relate to anyone it seemed and people avoided him.  Where ever he ended up someone would give him grief. He would over react and end up either beat up on the curb or in a jail cell for a few days.  He was chased out of Yellow Springs Ohio two days before the truck driver gave him a ride to Kansas City.  It took an old farmer to get him to western Kansas where he stood outside of Oakley with his thumb out waiting for a ride.  One came and took him to Denver.

Chase sat outside the bus station on the early foggy morning waiting for the bus to arrive.  He had walked all night in the misty rain after the last ride for the day that left him on the edge of the city.  Before dawn he found his way to the bus station.  The weather west did not look good for hitch hiking.  He sat looking at the ground and grumbling from time to time as people around him gave him a wide berth.  He didn’t see any reason to talk to them anyway and he waited.  When his bus arrived and he went to climb the steps but a small young woman pushed him aside. He froze, watched her get into the bus. Scowling he then got on board. He saw the compartment was also packed with almost every seat taken. 

He recognized the gauntlet he had to go through.  His jaws tightened and he started walking.  An old lady with pink hair looked at him wide eyed he scowled at her then she dropped her head.  The old man behind her glared at him, and when Chase looked him in the face, with his fierce eyes, he went back to his newspaper. Behind him was a little boy and girl with their mother.  The boy looked up and then started crying, the girl shrank back in fear.  Chase kept walking.  Two football players sat together, one of them stared at him and then turned to his friend whispering. Chase tightened his fists but he kept walking.  

He saw the pretty girl who pushed him aside getting on the bus.  She sat next to the window two rows from the back.  He slipped silently into the seat next to her.   

She looked up at him and said, “You smell, at least go and wash your arm pits.” Then she smiled sweetly at him.

He scowled down on her but got up and went to the cramped toilet. He returned to the seat with a cleaner shirt, she smiled, “You almost look human with your hair tied back I can actually see your face.”  

He turned his head pointedly away from her trying to ignore the girl.

“Rosealea Isabelle Margret O’Grady at your service Mister.” He looked into her smiling eyes.

“What do you want girl?” He said gruffly.

“That’s Rosie to my friends.”

“Whatever, leave me alone!”

“You chose to sit next to me.  So, cool it.  I’m offering to help you out.  By the looks of you I think you can use all the help you can get.”

He looked into her deep and shining eyes.  He chuckled at her retort. “Okay Miss Rosie, I’m Chase.”

“I saw you waiting for the bus and knew you needed something.  I hope I can help you out.”

Rosie talked, while the bus moved into the snowy Rocky Mountains.  When they stopped for lunch, she got out. He stayed in his seat waiting for the bus to continue on.

Passengers got off and a group of young skiers boisterously came on board, pestering the other passengers.  When they got to Chase, he tried to ignore their rude comments about him.  When Rosie came back on the bus, they started crude comments of a sexual nature. He said forcefully to them, “Leave her alone!”

They threatened to beat his ass, but Rosie stepped in and said “Leave us alone you 

creeps.”  She grabbed Chase’s arm and pulled him back into the seat as she took her place. “They’re just kids, forget them.”

He nodded and closed his eyes as the boys continued to harass them for a few more minutes. He had been awake for over twenty-four hours.  She reached over and rested her hand on his forearm.  He felt at peace and drifted off.  

He was back in the desert.  The air was hot as he crouched down behind the rocket destroyed hovel.  He was frozen in place.  His squad was gone.  The fighting for the past couple

of days had been fierce.  He figured all of them were dead by now.  Dead because he couldn’t move.  After the slaughter he and his squad had inflicted on the women and children in the village the day before he couldn’t do it anymore. He been on point with his best friend Ross and had met up with a kid who had come out of the village approaching him with a smile. He smiled back as the youth threw a grenade at Ross, Chase opened fire on the boy just as an old woman came out crying and yelling, he shot her down before she reached the boys body.  Then bullets were flying around him just as the squad came up and the firefight lasted another half hour with so many dead lying on the sand of the village streets.  Now he slid down into the sand hanging his head, crying.  The squad had moved on but he couldn’t get the boy and Ross lying dead out of his mind and the smell of death choked his senses.   He could hear the guns going off and he couldn’t move. The noise got louder and louder and then a screeching sound pierced the air.

He awoke tumbling in space.  He hit the ceiling then went across the aisle and was slammed onto the floor.  Rosie was flying through the air.  The bus was tumbling down the mountainside and people were being thrown around like dice as the bus rolled down to the river below. 

He didn’t know how long he was out when he returned to consciousness. Passengers were weeping, moaning and crying out for help.  Rosie was laying on top of him unconscious.  He rolled over and carefully checked her over.  She had a contusion and a large bump on her head but otherwise he felt she was going to be okay.  He gently touched her face and wiped some blood out of her eyes and off her cheeks with his ragged bandana.  She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.  “Wow! Do I have a headache Chase!”

“Don’t move Rosie and stay awake.  You have a gash on your head take this bandana and hold it here.”  He picked up her arm and showed her where to apply pressure.  “I will try to find some first aid.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know but it looks like the bus has left the highway.  We are at the bottom of the mountain with some of the bus in the river.  I think.  Stay put and don’t try to move, I’m going to see how things are.”

The bus had been folded almost into two pieces with the front end of the bus submerged into the river.  He found a first aid kit and some blankets tossed out into the snow with luggage and a couple of bodies looking bent and beaten.  He came back in the hole in the side of the bus and gave some survivors blankets to stay a little warmer.  He took the first aid kit to Rosie and quickly patched up her wound.

He went to the front and carefully went down into darkness. He froze as he flashed back on the dark homes, he had entered in the villages over there.  There was always danger in the dark hovels.   His eyes adjusted to the dark and he saw a little movement down below.  It was the little girl. Her mother was hanging over the back of a seat unconscious.  He slowly worked his way down to the girl and found she was holding her brother’s hand whose head was below the water’s surface.  He reached her, pulled her up, and the boy came with her. He laid the boy down and gave the boy CPR who sputtered to consciousness. He quickly carried them up and wrapped them in blankets. Then he went back for their mother, beat up pretty badly but alive, he carried her up.

He saw the old man with the newspaper hanging on for dear life with his head all bloodied up.  Chase made it down and grabbed the arm the old man was swinging around.  He pulled him up with great difficulty but finally the old man crawled away and Chase went back down.  He saw the old lady with pink hair.  He knew she was dead. He looked for the driver and saw the man had his head partly out of the water and he would take a breath then drop below the surface and try to get the harness undone without success.  Chase pulled out his knife jumped into the water by the driver and cut the harness. The driver reached up, grabbing Chase’s arm and pulled himself up breathing heavily.

Chase then went to the survivors with the first aid kit and did what he could and he instructed the people what to do until help arrived.  He went back to Rosie who couldn’t stand yet.

“See” she said.   “I told you that you needed all the help you could get and see how it is? You seem to be a different man helping all of us. Thank you, Chase.  Now please go get help.” She then reached up and gently placed her hand on his face.  

He burst out crying and he couldn’t stop it from running down his cheeks but got up and jumped into the snow and started climbing up the mountainside to the highway.  He knew they were close to Glenwood Springs and figured there would be traffic up there.  The snow was a foot to four feet thick and he struggle throughout the climb. It seemed to take forever to reach the roadway.

The first car that came down the road swerved around him and kept going.  Chase straightened his stance and stood up using his full height and he kept at it and soon a highway patrol car came.  The officer stopped and when Chase got to the car and found a pistol in his face.  Chase backed up and held out his hands.  The officer rolled down his window, still with the gun out.

 “Officer, the bus going to San Francisco fell down the mountain and the passengers need rescued immediately.”  Out of breath Chase collapsed onto his knees breathing deeply.  

The officer came out of the car and looked down at the side of the mountain.  “Oh my God! Okay son, just stay put and I’ll get all the help we can find,” 

Chase stayed there until his breath returned then he walked over to the side of the road and looked down.  He almost fell down when he suddenly remembered the hovel before the rocket hit it and saw the young women working in the yard.  He saw the old woman standing out there bleeding and crying for the boy who had been killed in front of her.  Slowly the image disappeared and he felt lighter.  He knew Rosie was going to be all right and turned staring down the road toward the west.  It was cold, he shook off the snow, stamped his feet and then started walking westward.